Ghost Jokes

This is page two of jokes on ghosts, spirits and ghouls. Most of them are appropriate for children, but one or two are not. Because I've collected so many quotes, I've had to break up this page into three parts. If desired, you can go to Page 1 or to Page 2.

What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry‐geist.

What's the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
They boo‐kle their seatbelts.

When can't you bury people who live opposite a graveyard?
When they're not dead.

When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams.

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

Where do Australian ghosts go on holiday?
Lake Eerie.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
At boo‐tiques.

Where do ghost trains stop?
At devil crossings.

Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost‐ery store.

Where do ghosts get an education?
High sghoul.

Where do ghosts go on vacation?
The Eerie canal, the Ghosta Brava, the sea ghost, Lake Eerie, or Mali‐Boo.

Where do ghosts live?
In a terror‐tory or in dread‐sitters.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office.

Where do undertakers go in October?
The hearse of the year show.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo‐gie.

Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station.

Where does Sitting Bull's ghost live?
In a creepy teepee.

Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party?
With No‐Body.

Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.

Who greets you at the door of a haunted house?
A ghost host.

Who protects the shores where spirits live?
The Ghost Guard.

Who represents ghosts in Congress?
The Spooker of the House.

Who speaks at the ghosts' press conference?
The spooksperson.

Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.

Who writes all the books about haunted houses?
Ghostwriters, who else?

Who writes ghosts jokes?
Crypt writers.

Who's the most important member of a ghost's football team?
The ghoulie.

Why are cemeteries in the middle of towns?
Because they're dead centres.

Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them.

Why are ghosts cowards?
Because they've got no guts.

Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.

Why are so few ghosts arrested?
It's hard to pin anything on them.

Why can't a boy ghost have baby?
Because he has a Hallo‐weenie.

Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
It had a nervous breakdown.

Why did the doctor tell the ghost to go on a diet?
So she could keep her ghoulish figure.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE".

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.

Why did the ghost go to the amusement park?
He wanted to go on a rollerghoster.

Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
To get a Booster shot.

Why did the ghost rush home from school?
To watch an after‐ghoul special on TV.

Why did the ghost starch her sheet?
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff.

Why did the ghosts put a fence around the cemetery?
People were dying to get in.

Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
Because demons are a ghosts best friend.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Why don't ghosts go out in the rain?
It dampens their spirits.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin.

Why is the letter G scary?
It turns a host into a ghost.

Why wasn't the ghost popular at parties?
He wasn't much to look at.

Why wasn't the ghost successful?
He didn't believe in himself.

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